Writers Block

Exciting Day, joyous moments, memories
I tell my deaf friend and in silence he's happy too
tears, pain, screams
I shout to my deaf friend journal and in silence
I know he feels my sorrow
He shows me my silent love that I sometime want and need
For advice my journal is always listening but can never respond
Initially I just left it alone
thinking he couldn't fathom it all
But deep down it was hurting me
For a friend I thought I could call
act as if he didn't know me at all, like what I was saying wasn't making any sense
So for a moment I put my friend away
Put on a front because when I was happy he was happy
Now how could that be?
When I'm happy you notice me?
Yet when I need to hear just one thing
I'm out of sight?
Feeling the need to release some anger
who to call on but my deaf friend journal
So I'm shouting at my friend
Through my tears and sniffles a pause for something
and I get back what I started
Nothing
Angry out of my mind and remembering
what I was once so angry about
I not only put down mi pen
I threw my journal away
so all my memories are just that
and all my pain is gone
if I don't have the thing that I'm always angry about I wont be angry
It'll work out better for the rest
all my love went into that deaf friend
and all I got back was what i started with
Nothing
Now the thing i love dearest is forever gone
and picking up a pen has never felt so awkward
putting the pen to the paper
I have so much to say but no one to say it to
and for those that listen would never understand
The thing that would i chucked into the garbage, along with all my recorded memories
I found a new journal, trying to start fresh
putting the pen to this new found friend
I got Writers Block